4 years ago I was over 300lb. Of course the adage of eat less and do more is obviously the answer, but guess what … sticking to that formula belittles the core reason of why and how a person gets there. It is rude and insensitive and it marginalizes the person. Being overweight means that the person has a “shit ton” of fear, trauma, hurt, and no confidence since we use food as a drug.

So in my case I had shit from my past (i.e. typical shit all women have dealt with but I was a big and strong man) that needed therapy and work, and I also had severe allergies kick in (moved from the Midwest to Texas and stopped traveling). The therapy even involved something no one in my past would ever expect, which was to become a feminist.

Once I settled, I did the simplest thing. I went to a doctor, and then I started weighing myself and I got an activity tracker. After that I did nothing, my only goal was to observe my body’s performance and watch the weight on a website. Once I was comfortable and not judgmental, then I started to attack the diet and exercise aspects.

I still have another 10–15% body fat, and 10–40lb depending on muscle to fat conversion to go. But now being over 300lb with 45% body fat to 250lbish and 20% after three years gives some self confidence. Knowing I drank a lot of booze was because both my body and mind were in pain. Once I removed those … it was no longer necessary, and furthermore one can see what damage it does.

So the fix isn’t surgery …. it is reducing calories (my view was to skip lunches), limit soda intake to no more then 1 12oz drink a day, and limiting snack/deserts to handful or two of M&Ms with 1 liter of water to back it.

Then make sure I do 70,000 steps a week (10K a day), and now my goal for the year is two 1,000 KM fast walk treks.

So my advice is do simple things, conquer them and add a little more until you are on the trek of walking 5 miles every day for exercise, and you only eat a really big breakfast and dinner ….

:) Then if you find partners worthy of your time … then get another workout which obviously adds the extra spice to life ….

Be well!