A coworker I traveled with had late diabetes, and erections disappeared for him. We were talking over scotch (probably a good reason for the earlier issue :) ) and he stated his view.
Al, nature made t-juice so blinding because it want the species to procreate. It wants men to ignore all the red flags and warning signs of mating, just to make it go. I am not superb catch "at all", but when I date at the end of some nights I ask what is the point, my baggage and her baggage is so great it isn't worth it, but a decade earlier I was "all into that shit."
As I see it now, men are blinded by the view they don't see the "lack of an erection" in women and the struggle due to the stresses of life. The expectations and the emotional and life labors one has to deal with does take a toll.
Men do need to step up, but as more and more equality happens and roles are reversed. Women are seeing the same thing from their guys in their life. Lack of erections and sex happen in reverse; however, it can be even more damning since most guys lack the tools and maturity to process it.
Both genders deserve better. Consent matters, but if the check engine light is on in intimacy, then both partners need to stop and talk. A hug and kiss and assistance in masturbation maybe a good thing to engage with if one partner has a higher libido then the other, or equality libido'd partners where one has more stress than the other happens.
I guess a takeaway and I am sure other women have seen it happen, is take the feeling you have when the guy goes soft, or can't get hard when you really desire intimacy. That is what some traditional guys feel. As for the guys take ED responses is what women feel ...