Agree with all of this (damn medium for crashing on a post).

In my opinion, it comes down to whether the act of desire is deemed intent wise to be true with no strings or transactional.

I am an ENFP, with love languages for touch and communication, so if I take my needs and we wrap intimacy around it, for a partner it maybe overwhelming.

Is it transactional? Is he just trying to get off etc ...

The hard part is to figure out the needs and desires of both and what weaknesses two people bring to the relationship.

Women IMO even if they desire to be desired, should practice self-love and learn how to be the assertive partner in intimacy. Not all the time, but it is critical, and it is important for the men in a CIS-Het relationship to learn how to be "taken".

So if a woman feels desire, one of the things in an imbalanced relationship (not meant to be negative mind you) is to grab her partner and say my needs now, and say please can we wait until later.

CIS-Het relationships are extremely risky and potent dances, that to stay stable over the long time require both partners to flip roles, talk and be open to all ways.

Consent matters, and remember no one owns another's feeling. If a person is getting put down for wanting another, then there has to be discussions about how to keep balance.

For guys, make sure the stresses in your partners life is down, make sure you are strong and the most robust and confident man you can be. If done right, who knows .... a little positive jealous might be sparked and the desire may flow back to you.

Lover of people, Texas Feminist Liberal Democrat, Horse Farm, High Tech Gadget ENFP Guy, and someone who appreciates the struggle of women and wants to help.