Agreed and this isn't gender specific too!

One late night at an after party party, 12 of us (6 girls / 6 guys) were smoking drinking and chilling.

One of the women blurted out, I just have to ask Alan something. I was like huh. She was like you are boisterous and all that, but when it comes to guy talk and all that I don't think me or my friends every here you talk the talk. It was even sometimes some of us thought you were gay.

My roommate laughed hard, trust me he isn't gay.

I was discrete and respectful and consensual, but I was stick a fuck boy at the time. It was at a time that I was changing how I was so I shared a story. I stated this was different for me since I was sharing something private.

I said you know X? She was like yeah she was hot and she goes on about this guy that blew her mind on X weekend. I smirked and she said "oh". I stated well she is a nice and pretty and all that, but she was like a starfish.

So then she asked who then after that, I stated you know this other girl? She was like her? I said yep, three weekends in a row because it was awesome, she was giving and the back and forth was awesome. It ended because we just didn't truly connect at a relationship level, but I will tell you she makes an awesome breakfast and the service in bed was fantastic.

The girl (blessed with pretty privilege) said but she is just average! I was like the packaging maybe average to your standards but her skills and her passion was top notch.

I agree with you 110%. Connectedness, going that extra mile, engaged (active) communication are all required to not be lazy in bed. For guys the most important thing is active listening ...

Do this, you will learn great joy in tears of joy, watching the genie in the bottle of female desire being released, and you will realize the importance of conserving one's male energy and juice because empassioned, safe and empowered women will rock your world like never before.

To this day, I do feel bad about sharing the privacy of those engagements, but I do hope the other 11 in that after-party party learned something important and hence the share.

If a woman is scared about being a starfish, don't feel bad either. I totally get it because of the societal expectations tossed on you just like it is with men. I wish and hope and pray that you find the safety with another person to light up those insides like you justly deserve.