As a guy who has been in a relationship for >2 decades, it is very hard for guys to truly stay interested (it takes a lot of work) in their partners at a sexual level.

I luckily work from home, and my partner works in our horse barns, so I try to occasionally go out and give her a kiss and let her know I am thinking of her and love her.

That being said unless one has “perfect” sexual compatibility it gets very hard for guys to keep up and then if you look at how mother nature wired guys between age and drop off in desire there are biological constraints (meant to keep reproduction down in animals)

It is a wicked conundrum. As a guy learns to love his wife/partner more deeply and sees her as a complete human being, the less “zing” and “spark” for the partner there is.

That is where the communication is uber-critical, and the guy needs to learn to give his partner the desire she deserves and wants. In return, the partner needs to understand and in a consensual work with him to try to keep the spark and novelty alive.

But given our gender disconnect, women communicating at a Ph.d level and men at a middle-to-high school level, the issues start to manifest. I believe women that are with CIS male heterosexual that are loyal and loving start to observe ED and other issues as the relationship ages, and then it becomes a double whammy.

Great article and very helpful as a guy listening and learning from some fantastic women here on Medium. Thanks again.

Lover of people, Texas Feminist Liberal Democrat, Horse Farm, High Tech Gadget ENFP Guy, and someone who appreciates the struggle of women and wants to help.