So my advice from the cheap seats of manhood is this:
Birthing a child does not make you a woman.
The fact you don't push your trauma onto others "means" you are a fantastic human being. This makes you an amazing woman.
If having a child is a must-have for you, realize to give the finger to the pool of masculinity around you and you can go it alone. I have a woman acquaintance. that I worked with and that is what she did. She is super happy, her daughter is amaze-balls, and she feels good and complete.
But biology doesn't make the women (or man), write, love, and produce art and other things. The fact you add more then you take means you are the best of humanity.
A fantastic woman on medium Yael Wolfetalks to this, and she is an inspiration (and I am not a woman, but I do love ya'll "a lot"). You should read her articles and thoughts, because well she is a woman I point other women too when they are down.
You are not invisible. The other way to look at it is you and many other women are like bright stars, that blind most men with too much intensity. Only real "men" know how to put on the proper "shades" and learn to talk and communicate to see what is right in front of them.