Congratuations, to those that have the issue! You win the insensitivity badge of honor!
The less you know someone the more you must repress complimenting the person's physical appearance and the more you must compliment their actions.
The more you know someone the more you must compliment the person's physical appearance and the more you must repress trying to control your partner's actions.
It is subtle, you need to empower your partners hopes and dreams and loves. When they are weak, boost them by removing roadblocks, and cheering them on. E.g. She has stretch marks and her belly isn't as firm when you started out. Kiss those marks and say I love your feminine tigress stripes. If she wants to get rid of it, how can I help with us eating better, and lets exercise together or let me carve out time so you can go workout while the adulting crap gets done.
Then when relaxed she can help you relax in fun ways too, if you are too stressed (shit happens) and it isn't going to work, cuddle and maybe enjoy a quickie where you come first versus the normal.
Compliments can hurt, words are atomic reactions. Let it be to increase the heat and power love, and not be a nuclear explosion destroying another one's mind and confidence.