Congratulation on stretching and scratching the itch on both edges of the spectrum.

I have an unfounded/non-factual based belief that natural switches make the best dominants.

There is something knowing how much fun it is going deep and down the rabbit hole allows you to know how to really make a submissive feel it.

To me the key thing (as you have covered the consent, respect, and communication angles 110%), is in the heat of the moment implementing a slowly increasing amount of pain while talking about the truly devious and evil "sweetens the deal".

In a forum in the past, there was a not very dominant wife who had a submissive husband who was "Very edgy" and she felt "awful" because she wasn't creative. He made her feel bad (topping from the bottom).

I asked her did he do something lately that pissed her off 110%. Well he left food uncovered and their kitchen got infested with ants. Then he never dealt with and she had to deal with it.

I told her the next time he did the topping from the bottom, and of course to make sure it was discussed anything goes.

I told her to tie him up outside on their porch where the ants came in, pour a bunch of sugar water on him and trail it to the ant hill he never took care of.

Then sit back, and have a drink or three. Leave him there until he issued his safeword.

She stated later she did, and OMG, topping from the bottom never happened again, and the communication went up "massively". Along with the ants getting removed, so she had a fun release.

To her it was hard to grasp and understand the interplay with submission and dominance, but after that she was the light bulb went on.

She chuckled you are the good kind of fun evil :) I said you have no idea.

Very few people understand the dance between pleasure and pain, but those that do. Oh my the doors that open.!

Lover of people, Texas Feminist Liberal Democrat, Horse Farm, High Tech Gadget ENFP Guy, and someone who appreciates the struggle of women and wants to help.

Love podcasts or audiobooks? Learn on the go with our new app.