Cuckolding/Cuckqueaning has been considered an intellectual fetish because it is extremely powerful on many levels. It deals with domination and submission and a crossing of many taboos in modern society.
You very much love your husband, and on one level love the fact that he can live life sexually as well as you have. By also doing this, you also got a taste of what he felt knowing his wife was getting pleasured by many others and felt a sense of justice that you directed and did therapy with your mother.
You are the queen, he is your subject and you are a benevolent one, but also remember part of the domination aspect isn’t over him. It is over the female lover as you get full control over her sexuality along with his. The power rush you feel is a very powerful and sweet one, but at the same time, you are powerless as they both lose themselves into each other. This is why it is considered a very powerful intellectual fetish, and frankly, those with low IQs can’t handle it because they have no sense of control over their emotions.
You have stated he is an average lover and one which has no surprises or moves. Not everyone can be the best and ultimate lover, shit happens, life happens, and well it is what it is. But what this experience does do is by helping him gain extra lovers and practice, his ability and practice may get elevated so that C level lovemaking in your world to B+ for her, gets turned into a C+ then a B-, then a B, and so on.
You saw the love of your life nearly die, lose all sense of his manhood and masculinity, and fight hard like a knight to come back to you. You grew too and you want the same for him, and you know practice makes perfect. You want him to be the stud that takes women left and right (respectfully, consensually, “and” quietly). You want to be placed into a position where you might actually lose him, and that sets a sexual charge and also the knowledge that he desires you like no other. You know this in your heart since your friend is a 7 and you are a 10.
The big question is how pure voyeuristic do you want it to be? Do you want to set up a camera and take the kids over to her place and watch her kids and yours while she gets it on? Do you do what you have done sending your stud over? Do you set up a play party of some sort (or send the kids to the grandparents) and get her to come over and the three of you get it on. Do you have your husband tie you to a chair and make you watch with a vibrator in you? Who knows. That is up for you, him, and her. Imagine if your husband and a threesome with your coffee friend and your friend while you are tied up and/or teased …
This is an awesome evolution to see and observe and a very rare one, so folks I hope are appreciative of your share (know I am).
When I read this and tying into another love of your life (gaming), I believe this whole situation is you want to level up your male avatar with more skills and abilities, so he knows how “to play” the right game for and with you.
Of course, I could be 110% wrong, and that is ok too. Just know I am extremely thankful for your personal shares. They are amazing Beth Singleton.