Enthusiastic consent is critical in any intimacy act that has deep value.

I have what I believe is a unique view (presuming traditional and stereotypical biased views on sex), that I am all for making sex more vagina centric.

How I viewed your responses and stories (this is me sharing my view and not wanting to project or impose), is that the standard gold "standard" of intercourse was a bit much for you, so since he had a kink and desire with guys, have him work it out.

The big question which I couldn't understand in a 2D format, was what your power reference was ... i.e. dominant vs submissive vs. switch, which you answered.

If I use the previous definition as a shared starting point, there are situation where the man enjoys his wife cheating, but he is not submissive. In that instance he isn't considered a "cuckold" but a stag. I am not aware of the female reversed model of it, since I believe it is probably rarer given societal constructs.

I wish you the best of luck!