Exactly. Just to become more human took a level of energy, intensity, and internal work with therapy for over 6 years.

I know there are parts of me damaged beyond repair, but that is where companionship and others can help. When one is strapped down with a suicide vest bomb, the person isn't the one that can defuse and help remove it.

Others have to. Let it be men and stronger women who see the person behind it is not the threat, but the victim and the villian in some cases.

It starts with I am wrong, and I have wronged. Then dealing with it. Once semi-healed, then learning and working on "you" and building the reserve capacity to be there for others as they lash out (the absorbing part).

Then realizing there is no payback, so if you are not in it for good intent, you will burn out with the trauma demon you just ingested.

Gen X/Y/Z guys are fucked simply put, Z will be what X was to the internet. The generation that will see the past and the future but not be able to enjoy the better future.

The thing is for as much as guys hurt, can you imagine the pain women who desire and thirsty for authentic masculinity must feel. Who wants to drink salt water to quench their thrist....

I know this was several years late, but frankly, I was not even in a place where I could decouple the patriarchy from masculinity as you wrote here. I am now ... so Happy Holidays to you