Alan Tegel
2 min readJan 26, 2021


For folks that fall into this trap, they need to work on figuring out what in their life and environment caused them to create the bad inferences and assumptions that made them label someone that they didn't know as vile and evil.

What I found on my trek through hell (called toxic masculinity by some feminists) is I wrongly coupled a very poor experience with an ex-girlfriend who even though she was a feminist and liberal called me gay and didn't believe a man could be sexually assaulted and rape because I didn't fulfill her sexual needs.

Then I found as I travelled through hell, I relied even more heavily on political identity since it was the only solace I had and when coupled with my anger from sexual assault by a female baby sitter when a child (female authority figure) and the rape when combined with a highly traditional upbringing this made my anger highly attractive to folks as you described.

Now I am a feminist and a Texas Democrat, and I changed my voting patterns post 2016.

It took a lot of therapy, soul searching, even having bad discussions in social media (before it became uber toxic). It cost me friends and loved ones.

But I made it through.

One of the friends I lost that hurt the most (my first true love) was actually due to a woman (conservative) that took selective screen shots of a private group chat that was supposed to be private and sent it to my friend.

Now I do know it was my fault for not being a good friend and opening to the wrong person and I own that for life, but hey women must police the men who disobey the political rules and laws.

So they have choices to make and they have demons to fight, or else they can live in their own personal utopia and live their own fantasy. But for those that are open minded and our curious, one should take great care as some folks are damaged and the energy and love and work it takes to unwind this is not for the faint of heart.

I appreciate everyone that has helped me along the way, and I can never repay them. All I can do is not self destruct, and be there as an ally to others and if trusted enough to be and advocate I will be there.

There is something freeing when you let go and let it be. I love women and I love human beings with strong feminine spirits. I also have been working on trust with men, which I actually can do now.

I have the recipe to deal with it, the question is whether people have the balls or "tits" to stand up and fight for their soul.



Alan Tegel

Lover of people, Texas Feminist Liberal Democrat, Horse Farm, High Tech Gadget ENFP Guy, and someone who appreciates the struggle of women and wants to help.