Gender differences will always be there, it is part of the pain and the great fun mystery that makes like interesting and fun.
A full reboot would require full consent and respect, which sadly is lacking in society.
Women have taken great strides and now that more equality is there, and now that denial and anger is being passed ... women are realizing that being a "guy" is not a great thing.
That is why suicide rates are so high with guys, addictions on top of it, and oodles and oodles of self destructive actions.
There is a great book on a woman who dressed up as a man and was able to integrate as a man with men (she was a lesbian). What she found through the magic walled gardens of manhood, shook her (it was out about 15 years ago) to her core and killed a lot of assumptions (that being a guy ain't that great).
I believe you figured out that biggest thing, and I know I did. My partner/wife has no concept or care, she isn't interested in the emotional labor aspect, nor do I expect her to be. I am broken due to a fuck-ton of things, and I have been working hard on them for five years.
So at some point I will be fixed, and relationships and all of that can be reevaluated. I do know if I fix me, and she isn't there, I can push back effectively and give her the space and show her the same level of care she gave me as I rebuilt.
I am not your average guy, so YMMV.