Good to hear you have a nice solid and long history. My current relationship is going on 24 years.

On my side, my partner kink shamed (she is the very traditional and conservative one) … so to make a go I had to hyper masculinize my way which like a bad horror movie we all know won’t end well.

The feeling “I feel” is in amazement and wonderment (no jealousy) of your position. I do know if things ended and I was in a relationship with another person poly would not be an issue for me.

What and why I shared is to give you a perspective and view that from what I have seen and share and my personal experience some guys deal with ( I am an extrovert who traveled a lot and met a lot of people and guys).

Would I trade my growth for the pain? Hell no. I like me more now then I was before, and like you given my painful past … consent is a 100% thing. I don’t care how horny I am ….

That being said I learned my processing and I can grasp what the writers intent and feel for the song …

Anyways …. I really do hope I haven’t bored you or splained stuff away. You writing is an inspiration and I am thankful for your time.