Growth is not easy. If one is to take the self-help path, one must read and implement (i.e. take action), and evaluate once done.

But it requires considerable energy and time to do so, and if one looks at Maslow's pyramid, it means you are safe, fed, have shelter, have sex, and have space before you follow down the journey.

But most importantly, it means one needs to be able to stand alone, be alone, and be comfortable alone with no distractions.

As such, most folks that generate the self help mantra are in it for self promotion and for making money. This is not a bad thing, but in the end the more one is in it to make money the weaker the intent and lower the value of the "self" help.

Taking this from a gender male view point, in a perverse way it is like telling guys to watch porn to learn how to please a woman.

It is scoped full of bias and stereotypes because when has one had the patience to meditate and to look outside themselves?

Is it all bad? No, but one should treat it with therapy, which of course in our day of age requires $$$, most of which people don't have.

As a guy that had to fix his masculinity (and being honest it is a journey not a destination [i.e. self help is pretty much useless as a guy]. I learned that one had to figure out about issues that caused myself to get triggered, then work with therapists and research the wild wild internet.

That meant reading a diverse selection of people, which interestingly enough quite a few are in your comments section. Learning and growing.

What I found and my advice of "self help" for guys trying to learn humanity.

Become a feminist, research and read what women talk about and listen and communicate respectfully, and one maybe amazed at the growth that happens.

As for race, folks learned about the mass killing of blacks in Oklahoma, but then I researched my home state and found greater evils then hat Slocum Texas which makes others pale, along with the Sherman Race Riots and others. How did I find this? One of the authors Carlyn Becca has some really cool researching and writing style and I found a book in a local drugstore about Texas Obscurities that triggered me to pick it up ...

(for those curious)

Texas Obscurities: Stories of the Peculiar, Exceptional & Nefarious

So if one desires growth, which IMO makes a vastly more interesting person and builds the basis for good friendships .... one doesn't get that from self-help, but as Jessica states Self Actualization.

Lover of people, Texas Feminist Liberal Democrat, Horse Farm, High Tech Gadget ENFP Guy, and someone who appreciates the struggle of women and wants to help.