Gillian Sisley here is a response that I wrote for an article from Vanessa Torre about this if you want to see the article I read before yours ... (not sure if you read her article or her works, but she is most excellent)

https://medium.com/@tegelad/yep-most-people-arent-realizing-men-are-attempting-to-do-it-but-in-the-most-horribly-and-broken-3e5ca767cb77