Here is the reference:
I also had some issues with the mass use of the patriarchy. I get the how and why, so context matters.
The real reality when it comes to "gender" studies in a way, quite a few men have a grade school education while women are flirting with HS diplolmas to some level of college degrees.
Then "big" words with huge meanings are used in concise way's and the desire to be right and everything you talked about, compounds into shame.
Shame does not build a good foundation for anything ever ...