Higher quality and valued women and in reality all women that are attracted to the male species, deserve authentic and spiritual masculinity in which he is there to be a partner and service.

That means her needs come first until an equilibrium can be met.

If a woman is not able to have pleasured achieved through penetration that means he needs to make sure her needs are met, and if she feels she has the capacity (e.g. that is the primary way he can "get off") then she can offer it.

Then he needs to realize what a gift it is "every time" she does.

Personally, I have always kept a view of 3:1 in my engagements over my life. Women have to fight the fear of death from a man and a variety of other things, I know personally whether in personal and platonic space I need to be mindful and attempt to be better.

I personally have been in some rough spots with my partner, so what I have done over the past 18 months is work on limiting my orgasms and practicing tantric practices. It is hard and it isn't easy. I so very much want to orgasm I can't tell you, but I also make sure to work on fighting back the thirst that we all have.

My partner is anti-kink and very closed minded, and I know I needed help so I have a close friend (female) who trusts me as I trust her and she is my accountability partner.

I have just done my longest stint, 11/10 and if I am good and worthy 4/4 will be the day.

What I have learned is a level of patience that has actually broadened my masculinity and humanity that I can't describe.

I am sorry you were abused and hurt from my side of the gender house. I hope and wish for the very best for you, and I hope you find partner(s) that respect and give you what you need and support you.

Just know I am here cheering on Team Sanni on her way forward! Be well.