Hugs for you precisely on this point. It is interesting. It is critical, and it is essential. To those that don't care whether through naivety or because they don't care (but let me tell you they are your friend).
It does matter. As human beings who had to abandon their humanity, they had to self-medicate with the only available alcohol. If I were in the same proximity as you as I read this or spoke it, I would ask you if I could hug you and only let go when you asked. I *know* exactly how this feels.
The fact you loved children and provided a loving household, while you struggled shows how much of an angel you have in your body, mind, and soul. You are not damaged. You should not be ashamed.
Yes, you were an addict, but it was because a person murdered your innocence and trashed your soul.
Your ability to have real trust and intimacy could never really happen because some people decided their sexual gratification and beliefs were more important than your life.
So my advice stands proud and tall; you are human triumph defined.
I am a man who was abused as a child by a female baby sitter, and then later raped as a man while passed out from drugs and booze.