Hugs to you, and I am sorry that you are feeling objectified and made to feel small when in reality (without knowing you) you probably have the biggest of hearts.
Before engaging in deeper intimacy how much talk has happened with regards to your sexual needs. (i.e. have you talked about how you prefer to orgasm and feel pleasure). Is it as simple as a guy actually taking the time to provide you foreplay with all of your sexual organs?
All I have is my perspective, but if I as a CIS male who loves women both CIS and Trans, if the person I am with is still intact that is ok. I would see all of her and since I have zero experience pleasuring an intact woman, I would take it as an opportunity to learn because there is great joy in giving.
So I can’t imagine the hurt you are feeling since you are getting bumped with the curse of women’s invisibility along with being special and unique.
My thoughts/hopes/prayers for you in your time of pain and need. You are special and deserving and make sure you have adequate boundaries to ensure those folks that are truly nasty don’t take advantage of your thirstiness.