I agree processing it all is a muscle. It is very much exhausting, but one gets stronger with practice.
I don't have the answer as I am going through the last stages of processing stuff in the past.
I find it so funny to watch people on Traumabook mock people at this time. I have found myself asking myself, why I spent time with the losers of society, then I stop myself.
I say well they must have something seriously wrong in their life to be in this place. Don't add to it. Walk away and let them vent their toxic stuff, and one day when they mature as a human being, they can deal with the consequences of their actions.
So I look for high quality and high value people to travel the path of life, and leave the low value tarpit children to pull themselves out.
So be well and remember you are a good one!