I am sorry life served you many shit-man sandwiches over the years. I can’t empathize your pain but I am sorry you never found the partner so far on your life’s path or a series of relationships that allowed you to heal and be whole while being the awesome you. The pool of men in today’s society for heterosexual women is pretty bleak IMO …

As for me, I know a person who I truly and deeply cared about follow this path. I was at an apex point in my relationship (was about ready to end it … even to the point where I was ready to say done). That day the person provided advice don’t leave her for me leave her for you as that is what is important, and then I questioned everything one last time.

From there … it was a downward spiral. The bigger point was I was open and honest and forthcoming about everything, and during that process. Talked to abuse I had dealt with, released my meToo moment, and started to unravel “everything”. However, I believe the miscommunication and because I didn’t end it (and she was in a committed relationship) made the situation “unreal”.

I still care very deeply for her, but I know it is a dead thing. The best thing I did was draft an apology email sent it and de-friended because I wanted to be fair to her and respect her wishes of not being friends. There was obviously expectations that I misread, misunderstood, and definitely miscommunicated. I also let her know anything that was personally shared was “deleted” so she had the peace of mind knowing anything personally intimate was gone.

I took the step to work on me more in the areas I was weak and wrong, and started on self improvement in the areas I screwed up with her and in my current relationship. I also worked on making sure I was the most authenticate male I could be and to be the best I could be for my current partner and if it at some point it doesn’t work out. To be a real human being as a man, and deal with it by working to fix the issues or ending it amicably.

Life is hard. As a man, I can’t sustain life as a woman can, but I can create it and nurture a relationship which is like bearing a child.

Thank you for what had to be a hard share for you and you are a wonderful human being for articulating your pain and opening yourself up (Again).

Lover of people, Texas Feminist Liberal Democrat, Horse Farm, High Tech Gadget ENFP Guy, and someone who appreciates the struggle of women and wants to help.

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