I can appreciate it as I have shared, I only could orgasm with penetration and via prone masturbation. The problem with prone masturbation is it desensitizes the penis, so add a condom, and it can take a long time to orgasm.
It led to many breakups because women thought I wasn't into them (ha) or I was gay (men always cum when up), and so many other toxic things that make you shake your head.
It is also why I wish there was male birth control pills as then some of the stigma could be relaxed, but still that leaves STD's in the mix.
Let's be honest, we all can be idiots when we have fear around the possibility of losing someone. It would be like (hypothetically) meeting you at a coffee shop and having a conversation that goes places > meal > date > etc ...
We all sit there and then think? Are they clean, are they respectful, are they good in bed ... then a whole actualized person asks themselves ... am I a rock star that will rock their world etc etc.
Insert the fear drama and then one asks ... ribbed for her pleasure?
Men have the sensation game, though I am surprised women feel the difference (but I am not doubting it mind you).
I wonder more if there is a psychological aspect. Does the woman sit there and think ... I am very thirst for his male desire and his "real" essence, and he is keeping it from me. He is consenting, but is he?
This leads to an article on medium where a writer wrote ... just because he has an erection doesn't mean he consents ...
As for engagement (be safe always), remember the goal is not the sex in the moment. It is working towards the point where you don't need it.
I mean picture this fun:
May I kiss you?
May I undress you?
May I lick and bite and touch here?
May I arose you?
Will you put a condom on for me?
May I put it on for you?
May I insert myself into you?
Then .. at a future time
May I take the condom off?
May I insert myself into you?
May I release into you?
Of course there is a lot of time spent in between each question .... which is all laced with delicious foreplay.
