I chuckle when I read this? Why most people will say ok "Al" thinking about a submissive woman yada yada.
No think of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Picture her in the beginning where she is measuring her calves and all of that strict diets and exercise.
Picture her as a dominant, gives me shivers.
She knows how to discipline herself, so guess what dude, your life is going to be a very interesting time. What didn't lose that 2lb this week that your promised or 1/4" off the waist? Listen buster over the chair NOW.
One can not communicate if one doesn't show vulnerability. (period) No communication equals shitty session. It also means power imbalance where people feel bad in the long term because one party sucks more life out of the other, and it is usually the dominant.
I love chocolate. I love sweets. If I didn't share that with my partner who loves it and say she is on diet, then I miss out on an opportunity to play with layers with the person one is doing intimate and brutally awesome acts?
Why? Picture a week of strict dieting and exercise, and it is time for a session and I am in charge. I would make sure to have the most delicious desert smell up the room (or even put a favorite cookie whatever)
I would then state .... cookie for ten swats with the cane or my hand? Come on you know you want it and I would be so disappointed since I took the time to bake this delicious desert you loved. You don't want to disappoint your daddy/master would you?
Let the games begin ...
No vulnerability, no laughter, no connection. It means there is spent energy and numbness in one soul. I mean how many times would you want to say? time for ten swats or else?
Great article again!