I fought and I mean fought for 22 years with real shit. I mean pain that would mean taking a friends 9mm and saying in the great David Spade in Bastard Airlines "Bye Bye".
Did I end it? Fuck No. I am do damn stubborn, believe in God, and am not a coward.
How did I fix it? Becoming a Feminist, and then approaching things via a female's eyes. A Screwdriver doesn't work when you need a hammer when the implement changes to a nail in concrete.
How serious is this? I literally got out of a "discussion" with my partner who saw a post of mine on a social media stream stating, so you are a feminist now. My friends says you are having a midlife crisis. You are too masculine and to much of a "man" to be a feminist, what is wrong with you? You aren't a girl.
So I took my time and used patience (a trait women know very well), I continue to work on empathy and sympathy and communication skills (ditto), and do I fail? You betcha, but every day I step up.
Her comment was priceless because in life I have always treated her as an equal, and her view people are defined by their tits or balls, which made me smile because I know in the house we share. It is about what a person does not their package.
Should I have told her sweetheart I did this in 2017/2018? You betcha, but frankly I wasn't strong enough yet. Nor consistent enough, nor educated enough.
You know that adage, fake it until you make it that men do, but most women don't. Well, for me it was educating myself.
Tackling your emotions when literally one has no support group, no groups of men at rallies putting hats on to fight fight fight, and getting near zero support from society is the hardest thing as a man you will ever do.
I will take tackling a stampeding horse trying to kill my partner who is passed out on the ground unconscious over this. But you know what? I have far more confidence now, then when all I had was societies two acceptable male emotions of rage and lust. I realize there should never be a flight response from a fight of the heart. You dig the fuck in, be clear, be concise, be direct.
Men are just as complex and emotional and can be just as deep as women. The question is are you willing to put the work in, and you know what given the low bar in our society. If you are single and you have done the work, trust me "real" confidence, will really knock the socks of a woman (or man). For your partner, it will allow you to grow and do amazing things together too.
Women deserve better, for team "guy" so do we.