I found the exact same thing. The ironic thing is I am a happy drunk, super fun and talk even more. It shocked people, but when you over hear a CTO tell the head of legal after I said hi at a restaurant and brought their drinks, that he is a god like person with performance issues at our company, but he is a functional alcoholic.
One realizes at some future date things have to change.
Then I move to Texoma. I then totally understand why they created dry cities and counties. Why? Dehydration hurts like a mofo.
Couple this with finding out I have allergic asthma and severe sleep apnea. I called it quits. I drink now for taste, but limit it to no more then two.
The messed up thing, is my tolerance is still there :)
Later after therapy, I realized the exact same things as you did. Now the other thing I found out, and I will be writing about this, is that I used sex and masturbation just as much as booze to deal with the demons.
Several fantastic female authors are like, you so need to write about your journey ...
So what I did was start to practice a sexual tantric process of not orgasming, but practicing getting close but backing off.
I found out something. I was numbing myself in some areas of my life by what I was doing. Same process and method as removing booze from the mix.
I have a close friend I am accountable too, and I have shared it with a few people I really trust.
Want to know how empowering it has been? My poetry has extra "zip" to it. I love "women" "a lot", I appreciate them a helluva a lot more too.
But the last thing, I found out not only the growth of my masculinity, but I had even more energy. To the point, I had a serious drug interaction issue between a bad crown, bacteria and an immunotherapy drug for allergies.
It gave me a serious boost in fighting through the pain and discomfort.
So I agree with you 110%.
Now for women, I actually suggest from what i have read and seen the exact opposite for men. Women need to keep the engine warm and ready for their partner, while men need to conserve and reserve the main male spark for their partner.
To quote yael wolfe ...
Women should open their legs more
Men should close their legs and open their minds and heart.