Alan Tegel
2 min readJun 26, 2020

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I hate to say but the answer it depends. It really comes down to how a person communicates and presents conflicting views and data and information during the discussion. It is wickedly and radically harder to talk to it in a 2D format (like this), but if the person doesn’t attack the messenger and troll and attempts to add points to their position, and defends with data ….

Be nice.

If they troll or attack the messenger

Be wickedly evil or block or whatever

Remember Hanlon’s Razor …. it applies to a lot of people in life.

For some folks that have fetish’s it becomes simple. Take something that a person is passionate about or highly focused. They have spent hundreds or thousands of hours (or a lifetime) with a belief and view point. If they are attempting to talk or question (without using sealioning), know it is a great leap since they are seconds into the conversation while the more intelligent or experienced person is like … well shit not again.

If at the end of the disagreement folks agree to disagree …. super.

If Hanlon’s razor happens and there is no bridging the divide … you are a PHd on woman’s study and the other person is in 5th grade ….

State I like you as a human being but we are just never going to be able to communicate. So please don’t bring this up again until you either see my point and agree and lets find some other thing to talk about ….

Not many people can switch horses in a debate or learn to accept that they maybe wrong. If you find a person like that … you should be nice

But my last point … if you ever feel unsafe ….. be evil.

I was pro-life for most of my life. I actually had my child aborted, and after multiple discussions and growing and working through my issues I became pro-choice.

I understood it was not my body to pick or do. IT was not my choice. If I could have a child I would die for it, but again this is not a male issue this is a female. So my belief states … even though I hold life sacred it is my belief and my belief never ever ever comes close to a woman’s safety.

I had people not nice to me but because I talked respectfully and I never attacked them they helped me understand and I changed my position.

So there is power in being civil but firm …. and it all came down to me being respectful when I talked and communicated. From there some disowned me and others treated me nicely … and you know what …. I respect those that became nicer to me …..

So the short answer is …. it depends.

Be well.

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Alan Tegel

Lover of people, Texas Feminist Liberal Democrat, Horse Farm, High Tech Gadget ENFP Guy, and someone who appreciates the struggle of women and wants to help.