I have done the therapy and worked through the toxic masculinity. It is a real thing, and there is also a female equivalent which pop culture has termed "the Karens" (toxic femininity).

The reality is the word choice by the psychologist (male) who penned it was to terse and for the average population it can be easily misconstrued.

Toxic culture of Masculinity

It has been my opinion, if you asked about it with me I would talk to the actions and consequences of the culture within men (man to man) that are toxic. I would talk to the positive traits of the gender and then branch into masculinity.

The average person who has never dealt with trauma or the pain of having their gender challenged, which is something women have to deal with every day. This is their first foray into this mess.

The next step when hearing it is personalizing it.

Let me give you an example, I was an athlete and strong guy. I was respectful, but I enjoyed being a bad boy, which is not something I am proud of but it is what it is. Then I smoked some weed that was laced and drank to much and got raped by a guy that found my ass and me very attractive and well it sucked.

A few days later my very hot feminist girlfriend was horny and wanted sex. I couldn't get it up because the rape was still in me. She stated no way could a guy like you get raped and if you did ... you wanted it and you were gay. Obviously dude look at me, and look at you you must be a faggot.

I was shocked by her and felt all feminists felt that way (I later became one), and now I realize she let her toxic femininity out and lashed out her traumas on me. Patriarchal systems with hierarchy of take or be taken which is a core component of it fed her view/bias. This aura is the essence of toxic masculinity.

Other areas where you can see it dealt with is the stoicism of men who say "men don't cry only boys do". etc ....

So feminism taught women the way to use words to quantify pain and trauma, and women love men. They want and desire mindful and "real" masculine men ... they really do. So the verbage from psychologists who do this for a living crafted it.

They are just words, and if they cause an effect, that is ok. One needs to figure out why a person feels sensitive over it.

So if you start to draw a picture of bias from my words, let me tell you I am a Liberal Republican. I live in Texas and have a horse farm with 24 plus horses. I used to travel weekly keeping an apartment in San Jose/Redwood City (and Indiana at the time). Million miler ass in seat miles on American, and a guy that is very good in high tech things.

I am married with a fantastic partner who still is very stunning, and I have maintained a relationship with her being loyal (even though multiple chances came up with business women on trips) for 24 years.

I believe in treating people with respect, kindness, and believe in educating folks respectfully.

Life is hard for women and it is hard for men. It is the shit show of American Exceptionalism. The reality is more people need love and less divisiveness.

Be well. If you have question please feel free to ask because I get your pain I really do.




Lover of people, Texas Feminist Liberal Democrat, Horse Farm, High Tech Gadget ENFP Guy, and someone who appreciates the struggle of women and wants to help.

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Alan Tegel

Alan Tegel

Lover of people, Texas Feminist Liberal Democrat, Horse Farm, High Tech Gadget ENFP Guy, and someone who appreciates the struggle of women and wants to help.

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