I have thought about this personally, if I was dating again, how would I do it?

In a world built around transactional exchanges, I don't really fit. To do so would require the energy burn and the managing of loss and trauma that is not based on rejection, but on having to deal with the collective damage people have built up.

So for me (as a guy who in some ways has it a lot easier), my boundaries would be not to give up my best assets around empathy, compassion, and the ability to be all in. However, not all future partners maybe worthy of it so I would have to figure out how to test a person with respect and compassions also.

E.g. if a woman has a basis based upon having a man live and surround in a traditional way that would be a no-go. It doesn't mean she can't have preferences in the dating, mating and what not, but the relationship would have be based in equality and what feminism has brought forth.

I know I would personally not limit myself to certain demographics and would always go outside what I executed in my past because there are so many fantastic future super people that one could enjoy and be with.

But the #1 thing is, before intimacy occurs we would have to be able to be friends, no friendship no go. Life is short, but it is not short enough to let thirst cloud the fact that one has to enjoy a person across all ranges of relationship and friendship life.

So if we have to use the trope of 1-10 ratings, they would get zero preference outside of hey this person looks and sounds interesting lets see where it goes.

Which means it starts out as ... Hi my name is Alan, I found you on X. I like what you wrote about yourself in these areas, and there is some commonality. Care to have coffee/tear or a meal to find out more about each other?

Then take it from there.

I know from experience the more to the thirst one lives, the shorter the drink, and the less chance of being able to enjoy the buckets of life when one is focused on a small pint ...

As for guys that are focused on the pretty and those that use pretty privilege, well good luck in your travels. The pool is wide and shallow but it is there for you, meanwhile folks like myself and many others want the deep and meaningful.

Great Article and I like your writing.