I observed the same thing in my college days. I literally watched groupies after groupies lust over some of my guy friends that I knew would bang only once and 'if they were lucky' they would have the weekend.

Even in my most fucked up state, I had an undefined view of consent which I have talked to in comments, where she came first and there was always good times as long as their was shared interest and we weren't too "chemically gone".

But knowing what I know now, I can remember a few women from a few of the sororities that I didn't give the time of day that truly wanted a helluva a lot more that I ignored. Including one I caught up with several decades later ... (her gift to me later was that feminists were hot AF and amazing women and helped me on my path).

I remember one "groupie" and I (someone that I actually kept a relationship for 2 months in college which is like you know an eternity). Talk about this exact thing.

She was like ... I so want you buddy bad ... I said you can have him or me but not both. Her comment was your attentiveness and your freakiness is so intoxicating I can't stop.

So imagine if this myth was punctured ...

This was a girl who I commented on Keeve Black's commentary about DVP. If you haven't read it or care to, she ended up with her kind of guy, but even admitted she consistently thought of our 60 days including some of the fun shit we did.

So who won out? Society with it's trope views? Four people with partners at various stages of life that could have had something better? Dunno.

But I agree with you ... dysfunctional it is ... and women and men deserve better.