I quit the hard core drinking, the social smoking and given the huge hits I have taken (FFS mother nature sahara dust) I learned something this past month.
As a guy my body was ramping up the sexual urges and drives to help reduce the stress and pain and inflammation in my body.
As a guy I have been trying to harness my sexual energy and only use it in small bursts. The problems (and not the addiction type) was I realized what it was providing to me (release wise).
I can’t imagine (so many hugs for you from a distance mind you) … that to get to that release and tap that energy you have to wade through the depression and drugs that are there to help to the best of their ability.
You should not have to deal with this as you are too good and nice of a person to deserve this burden. That being said your inner power and life/karma said this human being has the ability to conquer it and I believe you will so don’t give up.
There is nothing wrong with you … please continue to write and share and we will all be here to support you and try our best to give you what we can albeit from a distance.
Be strong Yael …. we believe in you and your spirit and your community loves you.