I think this is the message quite a few guys miss in the I am independent, and take it 100% the wrong way.
Not a wife, but a partner
Not submissive, but liberated
Not a hater of men, a deep lover of "authentic" men
Romance is good only when both "people" have worked out the dance, by learning the simple dances of life, and then getting all hot and heavy with the tango of romance. Learning how to anticipate and merge as one, not using it to learn how to be next to one.
My simplistic view is this:
Make the pleasure and dance female-centric if you want a really deep intimacy (like holy fuck she is thirsty for me), because once that hurdle is met and consistently achieved, she will make a penis-centric view happen and it will knock your socks off.
Give her the romance during the latter phases (and in the early days), but after balance is achieved, then in an equal world ... women can toss it up a notch or two leading and romancing back (once safety and companionship have been made).