I wish I could highlight and respond to two quotes, but this one will do since someone else highlighted the other.

100% spot on.

I made an interesting observation as a man watching (without creeping :) ) women interacting and playing and being open.

I noticed it before but frankly didn't get it, and then life happened (just like the stoic walls). Well I started to learn to break the walls down and be as authentic, transparent, and as real as I am.

I then met some awesome people (mostly women) along my path. Then the love and warmth I felt especially from one close friend. Made things click, I mean "really" click.

It was like she held up a mirror (like in one of my poems to a woman) and said this is awesome. I cringed my eyes and said "this" really? It is nothing special, it is flawed and broken and etc etc.

Affirmation came and then it clicked. She wasn't holding up a mirror but it was a piece of glass that said "honesty" [in my mind and figuratively].

I then realized I turned the mirror onto myself and I found all the other small issues that required me to be radically honest to myself. You know the first person you should really love, because without doing that. You can never love anyone else.

You are right it is brick by brick, but given my training as a man in the crucible of society, Men need to have fewer if no walls, and be open and honest and then obviously talk and have good boundaries.

If a man can do that, then they can love women like women love women, and the extra spark and angle is truly divine.