I would never use the word (it is one of the words on my internal filtered banned list; however, if a friend and partner in life likes it... she gets an ACL "allow" exception (technical term) but only with certain conditions.
I always saw the word as telling a woman that she was an "old" battered saggy brood cow only meant for milk, basic needs and to be slaughtered.
I saw it as an attempt to defile the most precious and pretty parts of a woman's feminine soul through which she may see as her femininity which was breasts and her vagina.
So for that it was a no-no word, but you are right we give words their power, and given my white male privilege my words in some areas have more punch.
It is funny because if I was doing something submissive with a woman with say corporal pain or something fierce. My safe word would be cunt.
Then my female partner would also know that the word would empower me to "take one more", but also denote that the line had been crossed.
You are 100% correct, the only way it becomes not "bad" is if women take it back, and for that I am here to support you.