Alan Tegel
2 min readAug 19, 2021

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If a person believes and has anecdotal experiences from real engagement with others, then yes, one should use whatever tools in their toolbox to protect themselves and stay safe.

That is natural and normal; however, if one find the cycle repeating themselves and finding only one type of identity over and over, then one has to question the decisions that placed them in that situation since one shouldn't live in fear 24x7.

Not all women are evil, gold diggers, or mean. So men that follow that path and train of thought have nothing but themselves to blame for their lack of intimacy or connection with the opposite gender.

Same rules can apply in reverse also, given all things are equal.

One wonders if the terms misogynist and misandrist were worded and defined to only mean the toxic culture based gender forms and not "the entire" gender if that would help people process the situation better?

If a person crosses the line and presumes all in any situation, then a person should not engage in a relationship that includes the targeted gender. Something is imbalanced and not right, and it may even be the environment the person is in. One can fight it, or regroup and find another pool of people or area to "tribe up" with.

Just as women fear for their life, so do quite a few men, but the double edged sword is those that fear feel double the pain since when holding up a mirror the enemy looks like themselves. While women can hold up the mirror given society and it's contructs and not me, and immediately start the healing.

Men on average don't have that, and have to fight the demons of the outside with the demons on the inside and figure out the blurred lines of reality versus what is in the mind.

I do believe (pure belief not based in fact), that if at an individual level spirit swaps occurred, both genders would learn some horrible and gasping truths about each side. The only one's that would not be surprised in this experiment would be the transgender, who fight this battle every day.

I wish you well, safety, and love on your journey through life. May authentic and real partners with good intent be in your friendship and intimacy circles.

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Alan Tegel
Alan Tegel

Written by Alan Tegel

Lover of people, Texas Feminist Liberal Democrat, Horse Farm, High Tech Gadget ENFP Guy, and someone who appreciates the struggle of women and wants to help.

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