If one loves themselves and respects themselves, "and" keeps themselves around good company, one will have the highest probability of finding the right partner whom will love and respect them in return.
No one is perfect, everyone has baggage, lots of people are damaged with regards to gender and sexuality in some way shape or form.
The key thing is that has the person "evolved". Are they "honest" even if in dicey situations and scenarios. Do they "respect" boundaries, which means in some relationships, folks can be friends to lovers, lovers to friends, soul mates to whatever, but can they truly give people the space they need to be their own person, and not go toxic.
Not everyone has it, and we are all damaged, but the key is loving an evolved man is easily done as the waters of each soul level out. Loving an illformed and imbalanced man who is growing requires all of the elements above and an attempt at communication.
I know and get damaged as I am one of those guys but I try and work on it as the cycles happen. But in reality we all lead busy lives, not everyone can take a pause for a year plus and just focus on being the best that they can be personally, as we all have bills to pay and lives to live.
e.g. mother of all arguments between my wife and me. She blew up. Why? Because I walked away from her angry response, and I got to listen to a full blast discussion. You shutdown and refused to talk.
I stated I can't finish what I want to say and you are yelling and I stopped listening to it because why bother.
She got frustrated, I got mad. I stated if you listened to me because what I showed you was all I had time to do, but I am not going to sit here and listen to your anger and after 10 minutes of you going off ... nope.
We worked out the rest. I thanked her for the thing we worked on, even stated to my father at the time (it was a financial thing) she did a bunch of the work, and apologized for shutting down, even though I believed I was right.
Love is more then hugs, rubs, and kisses (though honestly that is the best part). Love is working through the worst of the worst and still having respect for your partner when you are done.
It sucks you rarely got the fun stuff, and always got the shaft and shit and all that is not fun.