If you don't mine me with the blind consent here:

If life and roles had our orbits match up (availability (personal, life, relationship, geographically) [hypothetically], the thing I need to do as a partner is build safety and trust.

You have been hurt and have damn good reasons for your beliefs and views and methods. It is not for me to judge, but to figure out how to "dance".

That means saying you are comfortable leading in x, y, and z. You desire couples privilege by default from me, but need openness to build the trust, then if I desire to partner up ... I accept the conditions (consent) and go from there.

Where we have differences in view points ( let's say we have 30% similarities in life), that means we both have 70% to gain from one another, so the potential is a maximum of 3.4 (1 from me, 1 from you, and 0.7 x 2 from gained shared responses.

The thing is the more differences we have and the better our communication and boundaries are the richer the relationship becomes.

I build the quality of my "masculinity" in over an arc of time and energy, letting you feel comfortable in delegating and trusting me to lead when we both consent and choose.

That goes to fighting safety battles, professional, romance and love, politics, friendships and the general shit show of life.

Some guys and folks will say, gee "Al" seems wimpish or what the hell do you get out of it.

My view is a strong and independent partner who wants me, and desires me no matter the situation. This person will be all in when I fall and fail, and cheer me up or help me when I need it, just like I will do for them. This is where the 1.4 accelerator comes from.

As a personal share, I was traditionally raised by loving parents who had very very strict gender rules. I have major trauma, but in the end.

I became a male feminist, changed parties from GOP to DNC, learned to be an ally for others, and I try to do so quietly.

I communicate with people that intellectually and personally stimulate me and ones who have high quality potential for life is too short to live with people that are low grade and low quality.

Why do you share yourself?

So if there are partners in your circle that want to step up and are available, maybe there is something good from what I say they can learn from me to help you and other women out. Free of charge (outside of the medium cost).

Be well!