In a patriarchal world, women have had to garner a lot of traditional masculine strength to protect their hearts, minds, and souls. It is emulated, which means it takes "extra" oomph IMO, but when one does this, they also realize they need more to complement their femininity within.
They see the huge pressures and pain of men not being able to live and get out of the "man box" (thanks to Elle Beau for that) and see the liquid culture of toxicity that normally sane and good men get poisoned with.
Men do escape out but when conditioned like pavlovian methods, when scared they jump right back into the mix.
Then everyone is hurt.
The sadder and harder ones that really deep down truly love men that jump into the man box, and swim in that same toxicity, and come out tainted by the deep darkness. An insidious thing happens in a feminine way. Misandry and a hatred of the opposite gender, and the cycle runs deeper and harder.
Then while this happens true evil and it's dark forces feast on both men and women. Playing with the pain, and enjoying like a sideshow the dark entertainment that happens.
One side says "I hate men" and quantify it in socially acceptable manners, and others dive deep into dark recesses of their minds or in smaller communities that if you told them as a child, they would say me no never.
How does one win this game? To quote "War Games", it is not to play the game. Then sadly the only choice for women truly interested in men is to play 20 questions and hope the filters "work", moderating one's expectations until a duality happens where one has a deeply rich fantasy life to cover the loss of real "fealz" in real life, and managing the empty.
Sadly, men know the latter very very well, as quite a few of us (given the max box) it is what nearly every man gets pushed into. Even the current Gen Z will have it happen. Why? Everyone gets tired and vulnerable, and at some point with seperation of gender as it is, we all latch on to the same, which means for quite a few men ... latching onto others who have their own dark demons.
You deserve better, and we all deserve better, but, for now I and many others are sorry for the pain and loss you have felt in the past and in the present.