In a world of transactional interactions and low bar intimacy, people should have standards and tests, and they won't be bound by gender.

One can have time or money in today's society but rarely has a person. When one spends precious time, and it is wasted, one should be angry.

But suppose a person consistently finds themselves repeating the same pattern over and over. In that case, one needs to figure out why they continue to pick and choose the wrong "door" in the dating and mating game of life.

The reality is even if a person had 1,000 harmful interactions with individuals when one deals with a population "set" in the tens of millions, the bad luck is statistically insignificant. Still, it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt bad or mean a person shouldn't be angry.

But it doesn't give them the right to bash the tens of millions of 1,000 harmful interactions. If a person only has 100 ... you get the math and drift.

Do men need to do better? Absolutely, men should be responsible for beating back and culling the bad actors in the male population. Women, in some ways, will need to do the same. Hate has no place near love, and to applaud misandry actions should be a warning sign that not is all "ok."

While working on my communication in social media, I met many female trolls and femcels. I figured out they were really frenemies who took joy in my struggles.

Do I hate them? No. Do I steer clear of their sad, trauma-induced lives? Absolutely. They are weak and pathetic, but I do wish them healing and wellness, but I also don't want them raising up the dark demons that I beat back.

So I know to set boundaries, as the author talks too. Now, I have a smaller, tighter, and better circle of more profound and unique friends. I poke my head back into that madness, realize how shallow they were, and learn to appreciate my growth as a person and a man.

The same applies to those in the dating and mating parts of life and friendships.

If I divorced (and trust me, my long-term relationship is not great, but I fight to fix it), transactional apps like Tinder would not be for me. Still, I get it for quite a few people. I would work on solid communication and talking before anything intimate would happen. The reality is, though, it would be a turn-off for most, but that means the person is too shallow or too into themselves to want a relationship.

So the big picture question is ... do you spend a lot of energy and time setting up tests and processes to weed out the guys/gals in the dating perspective? When does the raw output of this energy reach the point of making the person a very shallow and low-quality/energy person for a relationship? Remember, what one does for work, hobbies, or a circle of platonic friends does not equate to success in a relationship. Whereas communication, compromise, empathy, and sympathy dance to a different beat and dance, especially in a heterosexual one, POVs are radically different.

Then for those that give up? That is ok too. Remember, not everyone has the skills or energy to be in a relationship. So one can use those transactional apps to get the basic needs of sex if one needs the human touch.

Great Article Elle. Keep on fighting the fight.