Alan Tegel
2 min readAug 21, 2018

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It comes down to shades of bias, is one form of bias acceptable while another isn’t? Or do you take a binary view that all bias is bad?

That is up to the reader. Given communication abilities and volume one will hear more about the negative aspects of “nice” men compared to women. Men in general around areas of sex, and interpersonal relationships “on average” talk far less in public outside of the traditional bravado. That has been the pattern for multiple decades.

There are numerous stories about nice girls and their unmet expectations and how they turn into the “crazy” ex to fill volumes; however, men keep mum and quiet about it.

Is that right? Hell no. We should be open and honest sharing about it at the same volume as women are, but to do so would be labeled in a way that states that a guy hates women. So here we sit.

This nice guy vs girl mantra follows the same traditional stereotypes that states that all men in heterosexual relationships are the ones that have high libidos. We know that isn’t the real case as it happens in the same patterns statistically; however, how many men actively speak up and out about getting bothered by their partner versus women in return?

I believe as the “gender” wars continue onwards, and marriage and partnerships in a heterosexual realm get less average (i.e. approaching fetish like quantities (<20%) we will see more radical examples as time goes on.

So one could say … that the toxic expectations of the nice “girl”|”boy” needs to be adjusted accordingly and they are both equal, and being nice and communicative with the opposite sex (presuming a binary sexual view) needs to be enhanced.

The reality is it may appear to be less damaging (nice girls “toxic edition”), but the reality is how many guys are really going to talk about the in’s and out’s of relationships? Men should but in reality today we aren’t …. and that is toxic

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Alan Tegel

Lover of people, Texas Feminist Liberal Democrat, Horse Farm, High Tech Gadget ENFP Guy, and someone who appreciates the struggle of women and wants to help.