It is a fuck ton of work. The energy and time required to make two ( or more if you are poly) is tremendous and is not sexy or fun.
It means getting your ass up, working and doing shit you don't like to do, and looking for little moments of pleasure in your life.
That is reward yourself, keep yourself healthy, and then love and help others.
My observation from the cheap seats are quite a few black women are left high and dry.
I wish society would actually start to imprint that if you are dating and mating with people within your own class and race, you are not normal. Call it the Genetic Diversity win for society.
If there was more competition across the board, women and men would not settle for the dripping of relationships they have.
It is one of those things if I had a time machine I would have whispered in my ear in the past. Psst ... younger Alan ... don't hide you were dating black women because of your racist grandparents and traditional parents views on not tossing the balance in the family.
Go be with her she is amazing as you are and go swirl it up ... IT is my one greatest regret. Why? There are so many awesome things we can learn and respect about one another, which is the foundation for good and hot and amazing love.
But what we have now? Ugh ... sad so sad.
Some of the fun quips I had that made people laugh when I was younger, I owe to a few black women. Just brilliant and amazing and powerful. The strength of heart and power of love and deepness of soul I have observed with black women have been sharpened hard by the horrible society they were minted in.
AS for the quips that I remember ...
Mmm ... I love me some cream in my dark coffee because it tastes so much better
I have seen the light and it was white my God ...
Damn, you are a master theif, you stole the ass off a black man and are packing it too ...
No respect ... no love ... one can have open marriages and relationships, but it requires communication and discussion "prior" to the event and not after.
If folks desire couples privilege and monogamy ... "game on" but remember one needs to be all in or just don't be in the game ... and don't moan don't hate the player hate the game.
