It is epically hard to hold the line, and I had to fight tremendously hard as a CIS-male or figured out this past June I was actually a pansexual to deal with.
The problem is as both you and I see is that society and women who control a lot of this because of the sheer strength of the community that has been built to protect them from the Patriarchal systems, don't appreciate how naked and alone men are. Especially those that fit the mold.
I can definitely sense the anger (I get it really) in your tone and voice for the pain that you felt, that is getting transformed into humor from the mouth outwards.
The issue is where you were successful in breaking down the walls, the men that have and will be left behind are even more fragile and it actually gets manifested and calculated through suicide rates, violence, and what not.
There are great lessons for boys and men to learn. Imagine a class under strict supervision where boys and men learned about consent if made to lay and be touched by another man under the supervision of a woman in a setting where the man's safety is guaranteed.
If men understood that there is great pleasure in being desired and "taken" and learning to trust a partner completely, as women understand. There is that aspect also, since the act of pegging could be one that teaches the importance of safety, trust and pleasure.
I am a victim of rape where a guy took me on a couch with his "big" thumb while I was passed out. I was also tied to a chair by an old female teenage babysitter and was conditioned to never enjoy oral a handjob. It took using a vibrating butt plug, for which my partner "threw away" and called me a pervert to actually break through and figure out how to give myself a handjob.
The shame I understand 100%. The amount of energy and effort it took to break down the walls was tremendous. Words do matter, and the thing is for CIS-male CIS-het folks, there is a lot to learn from our wonderful gay brothers in arms, even if there is zero sexual attraction.
I publically for the first time on a twitter feed replied to a comment from a woman who fantasized and said bucket list was to see a guy taken by a noted woman who loves pegging.
I stated I dream of the day to have a partner orgasm like that -or- to be "that guy". I can go into a dream state just thinking about it.
So I see a comment like yours, and it even makes me cringe, because it reminds me of the pain I had to go through to break down the walls.
But I processed it and we are having a discussion, which is the most important thing.
The problem is most guys as to state using man words "don't have the balls" to do it.