It is hard for people to grasp anything around the trauma of assault around intimate parts and intimacy actions.

One should be thankful of the blessing of not knowing, but also should be well aware of the curse of being blind to the pain and hurt and fear and suffering one has.

The fear a guy may have of being accused of miscommunication around sex and due to the fact a large majority of women don’t feel safe being able to actively respond to being uncomfortable is a taste of what women feel.

Trust me you don’t want to be a guy in a woman’s shoes with her experiences (real not conflated/made up), because the same society we live in even with a feminist as your sexual partner will definitely not believe you.

We as a society need to ensure that those that are truly violated have the ability to feel safe enough to go to the police and not feel threatened, and reviews of a person’s actions be reviewed “in private” and not in the media pre-Trial and investigation.

The problem is in our society those with means and access have the ability to circumvent this process and it isn’t a patriarchy thing, it is a criminal thing.

As for guys who might not understand the fear a woman has daily, picture meeting the hottest and most available person in your view. Now picture, she states hey … lets go to a campfire after we have a shared date of softball with friends. Then when everyone is gone and you are looking at the fire she smacks you on the head knocking you out. Then she uses the “bat” on you in the worst possible way and when you come too … you see her throw the bat in the fire and says …

Thanks for the great sex date, lets do this again love ya and you are so kinky I love that. Now what will the guy say to the police with no evidence? I have a bump on my head …. and people are saying … well that doesn’t represent all women and well you asked for it.

Trust women that if it is truly nasty the courage and confidence it takes to pick yourself up when you have no trust anyone. Trust the justice system and if it fails work to make it better. If you are a guy and it is following traditional gender play and living, know that you need to make absolutely sure that she wants to want you otherwise understand a legal bat maybe the least of your worries.

Also know if you are lucky to be with a good partner with good communication and you build a life, biology will flip the script eventually. You will be the one with headaches and no desire for sex with your partner, and if their is a libido mismatch she will gain the perspective you had when you were on fire. Just remember at those points in the relationships whether through sex you may not want to have or if she wants to have kids and you don’t … she needs your consent in return … . life is a cycle.

Lover of people, Texas Feminist Liberal Democrat, Horse Farm, High Tech Gadget ENFP Guy, and someone who appreciates the struggle of women and wants to help.