It is life. So like I have shared about my traumas, I have seen both sides of the confidence coin on the sexual aspect and intimacy.

I can take someone like Yael (and thousands of others [I use her since she is the latest woman who shared her thoughts on this common view]) who is empowering herself and confidence and be a fan, because I understand that pain and struggle. So I get it when a woman states she has fear with trust and loving and being all in with her partner, as I fight that battle (it caused me to be a demisexual in my action)

We all deserve to be fully open and fully vulnerable and there for our partners. It is why for example, while most guys and my partner don’t understand how I can say … if you need another to lose it completely I am good/cool with it. Why? Because I take joy in seeing my partner achieve every sexual mountain and bucket list item especially if there are limits to what I can do. Folks that say fuck no, usually have a fear of rejection and losing a person and as such project controlling actions whether through intimacy action to activities.

So to me in my personal hell, I am trying to figure out how to build the extra safety and trust she needs to break her walls down and deliver what she needs.

So the reason for the share, is your partner is lucky to have someone that has limited and is breaking down the walls epically well, and he should embrace and love it because quite a few hetero couples don’t have that. You can see the data in dead bedrooms, and a variety of other things. I have seen it from a friend who is a professor in the Bay Area. She called out how can the men in her friends life be leaving all of them short changed in intimacy since she has heard countless stories of good men (in stupid patriarchy terminology) beta men not inspire their wives or just are absent and lost.

Rough times … but hey as long as we fight and talk we can all win ..

Be well and thanks for the banter …