It is very very subtle determination, because guys that fall into this trap have the best intentions but don't realize the tarpit they walked into.

IMO, guys like this with the right kick (negative) can be the ones that turn into the dark knights who swallow those awful red/blue pills.

Validation from the wrong people, in the wrong place at the wrong time is what is happening and sadly guys that are like this also are victims of something nefarious in return.

The real reality is they need time to heal their wounds and fix themselves before they walk into a relationship with another since the demon in the room from their head will prevent a valid and decent relationship.