It isn’t easy coming clean and being honest with the person you love. My simple view is the hurt he feels is part because he feels bad that he hurt the woman he loves, and the other part is that you didn’t trust him to be 100% honest with him.

That leads to thoughts of …. is she really honest when she says she loves me and wants me for me, since my me hurts her?

Counter examples to pull away from your personal trauma and future healing is that of one partner with a sexual fetish and deep fantasies that holds on for a long time without sharing with their partner. When the partner comes clean, the other person is hurt.