It starts with the view never tell her to smile or assume to know what she is feeling.

What you can do is pay attention to her and work hard to try to not make her unhappy.

Then observe and listen. Ask her what do you like to do when you relax, what things help you masterbate (note this after you talk for a while), what things piss you off and can you not stand to do.

Then try to act on those things that are road blocks and remove them but don't ask for kudos. Try to provide the action to help her relax. Watching TV?

Get up and walk behind the couch and massage her head and neck and temples for 10-15 minutes or during commercials

Help her get off first and try to use the N+1 theory to life, where N is the amount of times you would like to orgasm.

Then on the inside you can ask ... Baby are you smiling?

Lover of people, Texas Feminist Liberal Democrat, Horse Farm, High Tech Gadget ENFP Guy, and someone who appreciates the struggle of women and wants to help.