Life is exhausting, and sometimes (gender not apply) people need to check out and go dormant and chill to recharge. For some it is a week, for some it is a month, for some a year, for some a decade.
It sounds like you attempted (congratulations BTW) the full set of things that life has to offer, and now need to reset to figure out if any matter to be retried again … . Live, love, and be whole