Men have not been taught platonic love. They have been forced conditioned to be stoic at all costs, and in todays society they are be default found guilty of emotional caustic behavior. Couple that with the raw sexual energy all men have and how they have to tell themselves … no no no no … don’t objectify, share but don’t share … be strong and independent but be vulnerable.
They shutdown.
This shutdown leads to awkward and situation where trust is not had.
What is interesting or funny is the roles in sexual arenas flip later in life where women have much stronger than average sexual responses and needs while men’s needs drop. Then given biological aspects where they love their partner and see them as a person more than the pretty and sexy awesome person …. the spark dies, where it is launched in full force.
Now … why the discussion. Men have a pro or a positive affirmation for saying “I love you” in communicating how they feel that is tied to sex.
Strip the sex component (unless one is homosexual) …. now what?
Men DO NOT have the community that women have. It is a eat or be eaten, compete with another for the best mate, or bond as friends so both friends can not be eaten and be the most successful in attracting the food and sex one desires.
These are not conditions for building trust and community that would bring out the words “I Love you”.
Great Generation didn’t have it … nor did the Baby Boomers who realized the problems with sexism and started to rebel the traditional structures. Gen X didn’t have it but did have feminism to promote for women and girls to be empowered like men and boys. Gen X was also ham strung being from broken homes and first generation of a more egalatarian style of relationship. Gen Y repeated with X with more empowerment for women and more break down of the patriarchy and structures. Gen Z repeated again what Y did … but now folks are realizing where are the boys and men, why are they so far behind?
Women will say (and they are right) well come on guys we did it under negative environments you need to do so too.
If this is the case, then women will need to understand it may take several generations for boys/men to make that leap as women have from Baby Boomer > Gen X/Y. Since now men are further disadvantaged, the supply of ready-to-go and equal men will be very limited. Once men figure this out, then and only then will the be able to share and show platonic love ask.
The intent and view is an important ask, but the reality is boys and men do not have the society, support, and the fact is they now have to deal with fear wrapped in jealous wrapped in loneliness and need where now women and men can both be their equal enemy, when neither maybe.
If we as a society desire to fix this, then the same empowerment needs to be done for boys and men, and shame/blame is the worst recipe for doing this since it reinforced the stoic negative view under the guise of “man up”. For quite a few men that means a bottle, needle, transitional only sex, and lastly a gun in one’s mouth, since most men have no ability to birth life …. they only understand death, loss, and hunger/horniness.
