Alan Tegel
3 min readJul 20, 2020

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Men say they desire strong and independent women but when reality it hits most times it is all talk and little action.

Prior to my conversion to feminism and working through my hells, I fell into that camp; however, I found out at my core I did care and did love such a woman.

See my current partner is a fiercely independent redhead equine woman running her own business. She implies radical candor to the point most folks consider her rude. She is sharp with the tongue with me, but she stated in reverse what she loved about me was my ability to temper down her anger.

24 years plus still with her, and loyalty mattered and she is cold stone loyal as I am too. That doesn't mean there are epic issues, because see I am a driven guy myself. The thing is my wicked skills are in high tech and computers and math and architect/design.

Knock on wood, I do very well.

Even then though, I find myself coming short and it came to ahead so I became the feminist and worked on my shit .... and my job and trying to help keep a horse farm running while she loses money.

How does it keep going? She is strong, smart, hard working and independent. I respect that and that is why I dump every cent we have to try to make her dream a reality.

Ride and Die is what I say, and that can mean flying solo for periods of time, which we did.

So right now, we moved from Ohio to Indiana to meet her dreams and save her mother from bankruptcy and what not. Then we moved to Texas so she could have a bigger horse farm and try to make it. I gave up (kicking myself) jobs at some large high tech jobs in the Bay Area so she could do it.

Why? I value her just like I value a woman's dreams and hopes and abilities.

It is not an easy line to walk, fuck is it hard. I am wrong most of the time and she is right well nearly all. But she appreciates that I try.

I have no idea why a man (I chuckle as I say this ... a "real" man)) would only want a control 1/2 a woman? It makes no sense.

I have a saying in my tech things I do where I have led. I do not want people behind me supporting me in the charge up the technical hill to win the battle. I want them next to me and even in front of me where the best and brightest come first ....

Now a days ... that is women. So I am here to help where I can, and I am sure at some point the baton will get passed back down to me and say here take this and lead for a while and when tired pass it back.

For that I will because hey ... women are pretty damn awesome, I love them to pieces so why would I want to break them into pieces so I can feel better? Seems pretty evil to me.

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Alan Tegel
Alan Tegel

Written by Alan Tegel

Lover of people, Texas Feminist Liberal Democrat, Horse Farm, High Tech Gadget ENFP Guy, and someone who appreciates the struggle of women and wants to help.

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